Kapibara-san

i love youuuu

exciting stuff!

Well, I'm eighteen now and everything feels pretty much the same (except now I can go in da offy and be like "haw gie'z yer booooze an' faaaagzz!!!" but I'm not too into boozin'. Much more into karaoke...)

My birthday was nice... I think? Robbie stayed with me for the week before and then on my birthday Angelica and Ifedade came up too. We played Monopoly again, but this year there was a lot more cheating (only from the girls though...) and it was hilarious, although the boys didn't seem to think so. Pfft!

Anyways, that was kl. I haven't been out properly yet... I'd like to go to Rock Karaoke at Catwalk! I wanted to go the Tuesday after my birthday but I couldn't get a crew and ended up sitting in my house with Angelica, playing cards and drinking schnapps. Would anyone be willing to karaoke it up with me?

I've been a lot happier these past few days. It's good, although I woke up in a bit of despair this morning, but that was just because having nothing to do on a Sunday is annoying. And not unusual.

On Thursday, Robbie and I went and saw Say Anything at ABC2. They were pretty good, and their warm-up acts (The Outline and Twin Atlantic) weren't bad either. We laughed about some of the musicians and when we were waiting in a wee doorway for my dad to come get us (it was pouuuring) we saw Parker Case running to the bus to get stuff and he was all "Oh shit!" cause of the rain and thunder and stuff. It was funny. He was our favourite, fo' shizzle.

I have a job waitressing/bartending but it's part time and only at social functions and events. Got Ayr Racecourse in a couple of weeks, and I'm already quite nervous about it. waaaaahhhh.

Not much else to report, i am boring.

one last thing

i just read something completely hypocritical and it's made me so angry that i'm laughing. unfortunately i can't post what it's about as it involves people who might actually read this though tbh them reading it is not why i'm not posting it. it's because i'm nice.

LOL.

three posts at once. lucky bastards.

and another thing

why is it that in movies we are very often treated to shots of "sexy" women with their breasts out (and the occasional vagina, thanks to Basic Instinct) and yet never do we get to see a flurry of naked men?

robbie said to me that it's probably because penises are seen more as "comedic" than parts of a woman's body (which is true in a way, but that's only because you only ever SEE them IN comedy films. if they were put in arty, serious films, they wouldn't be seen as comedic in the context)

it's not that i particularly want to see lots of naked men in my films (i'd probably rather not) but, as i may have mentioned, i am not particularly keen on watching naked women prancing around. at least if there was a few naked men in movies then maybe men might start to understand how images of naked people can affect one's view of oneself and how they can just make you feel really, really shit about yourself.

i'm fed up with all this.

contemplation

sometimes i wonder why i stop putting effort into things. obviously part of it is because i'm lazy, and i know that. it annoys me slightly but really laziness wouldn't hold me back any if i didn't let it.

but there are other times when i don't even need to wonder why i stop putting the effort in; it's so blatant from how i get treated and, haha, mis-treated that i just stop trying because it won't make a difference anyway.

my feelings are hurt and i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. we got a new computer and it is much faster than our last. it's quite pretty but this keyboard is flatter and thus more difficult to type on without making mistakes.

it's ewan's birthday today: happy birthday.

i think i've stopped putting effort in because of all the times before when i would put it in and i would really work hard and just feel completely deflated afterwards, because of the lack of response it got. sometimes it was all for nothing.

i feel a bit broken.

last night robbie and i went to the cinema and saw Charlie Bartlett. it's so good, very entertaining, and i enjoyed it a lot.

i'm fed up of coming on the internet just to find all the stored stuff and the history all deleted. i'm fed up of seeing naked people. perhaps the way to combat this would be for the people in this house to not look at fucking porn and thus they would not need to clear the history and i would not be annoyed. nor would i then occasionally find a girl with fake tits staring at me "seductively" from the computer screen.

i hate porn. i think it may actually be the most unsexy thing in the history of the world.

how. fucking. ironic.
you bunch of stupid arseholes.

devoid of emotion?

good morning.

I don't really know what I'm going to say. The weekend before last was good. I went through to Edinburgh on Friday evening and sat about with Robbie and his uni palz in the Edinburgh student union kinda place. We watched a lot of My Name is Earl (back at the flat, obviously) too. Saturday he went to another uni thing, so I went shopping on Princes Street. It was pretty busy, but it was a fairly nice day so it was quite nice. pretty fairly quite, how half-arsed.

On Sunday I went home and on Monday Robbie came back through here. We went to his dad's and saw his new brother who was rather cute (though babies do scare me a little) : ) then, oh yes, we went to the cinema. We saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall (nothing else on...) and it was actually a lot funnier than it looks in the adverts. Maybe even worth seeing? : o
The next two days were a blur of rofling and eating and sitting about. I believe there was a terribly scary thunder storm on Tuesday. If Robbie hadn't been there, I would've been scaaaaared. Instead, I was still scared, but sitting squeeeeshed up next to him as he played Mario Kart.
dumdeedaahh on Wednesday we saw Three and Out which was pretty good too, but really sad.

Then there were some days of boredom. It got sunny on Saturday, and after hanging out with Angelica and Alexis in the afternoon, we ended up in the botanics with a wee group of other people. It was really hot!

Yesterday was hot too, but there was a really cool breeze and it was too busy to play frisbee, so I was actually a little chilly at times. I went home quite early though, because it was boring! No one would come out, so it was basically just me, Liam and Neil with Hannah and Kate for a wee while and then some other randomers from school too. In the end, the group of randomers went to play football and I went home.

Today is CRUK day. And I feel kind of confused. I'm glad I have CRUK today though, as I need something to do. hmph...
I'm so lonely, and it makes me feel stupid.
huff.

pain

I feel awful. I'm angry, but more than that I'm disgusted and upset. I think if it didn't make me wonder so much, I would actually find it funny, but instead it leaves me worried and hurt.

I'm lonely also, which is NOT helping.

I don't remember much about this week. It has been slow. At the weekend, Robbie came up and we saw his mother's new puppy Brando. He's a seven week old chocolate mini poodle and he's very cute. On Monday I did very little, Tuesday was CRUK, Wednesday (yesterday, wow) I went out with Angelica in the morning. It was also my mother's birthday. And today I went to my gran's.

Tomorrow will hopefully be good. Might be going to Primark with mum. I haven't been there in ages! It says it's going to rain tomorrow though, on the BBC website. I really hope it does not.

ARGH I'm so frustrated with everything. Why are people so fucking stupid.
Arseholes.

Move bitch,

get out da way!

Ah Ludacris, you crazy ol' guy.

So, yes, I really feel like singing at the moment, because singing is fun (Not like "omg i'm so happy i cud sing". That's gay.) although I suppose I wouldn't sing Ludacris. I would like to play Singstar. The Rock Ballads one! yeeeahhhh!

I'm downloading all the Alkaline Trio songs that I don't have just now (which is a most of them, to be honest) and also some other random stuff like Ludacris and Sexy Back. Sexy baaaaack!

Gosh, I haven't been up to much. Saw One Missed Call with Debbie and Judi on Wednesday and last Friday I saw Son of Rambow with Robbie and Umar. The former was quite scary, but a bit stupid and the latter was alright but not as good as I expected.

I don't know what I'm doing today... probably nothing.
I had a job interview yesterday for a new shop in Decourcy's Lane. It's called Three Steps to Heaven and it's an ice cream/coffee shop. I haven't heard back from them yet, but I'm not bothered.
Also, I have a job as a waitress/bar-tender that starts after my birthday. I think it might be a good one, as long as I can balance the drinks properly! Need to get some practice in first, I reckon!

Anyway, I have nothing interesting to say, I just felt this little bloggerson had been neglected.
Peace.

Easter bunnies.

I had a lovely Easter weekend.
On Thursday night I went through to Edinburgh and lazed about with Robbie. Friday was more of the same; lazing about, watching Flight of the Conchords, watching Teachers and plenty of eating.
Saturday was a sitting about and playing Smash Brothers day (in a team though, because otherwise I'd beat Robbie up and he'd be sad : ( rofl kiddin' awwwwn... kinda : P) until we went and got the bus in the evening. We arrived back in Glasgow and proceeded to go back to my house. I don't remember much about that day.

Sunday was nice : D we got up early and went to Robbie's dad's. There was an allotment, egg rolling, cheese sandwiches and coke and then back at the house there was chocolate and exhaustion. Toddlers are so tiring, even just to watch! Cute though. Anyway, after our Easter outing, we went to Robbie's maw's and sat about watching The Host (until it broke) then watching Sean play the Superman game (rather gay). We returned back to mine around 11pm and only went back out again to purchase some 7up from the 24 hour shop.

Monday we saw Vantage Point which was pretty good : ) but a bit pointless really. Robbie wasn't too thrilled by it.

The rest of this week has been boring, but Michelle is due up in 10 minutes and Judi and I are going to the school show tonight : D yay lots of stuff to do.
Viel... Essig. Rofl. funny story bye.

eighteen.

In two months time, I will be a year older than I class myself today. I'm not looking forward to it, because it sounds expensive. Not only is there taxes and the like to think about, there's also the fact that all of my other eighteen-and-over friends are going to want to go out (already, three or four people have insisted we go out on the town for my birthday) which is not really what I'm into. I do enjoy dancing, but actually going out to clubs is something I would probably only do every couple of months. Also, I'm never going to be able to afford it, especially as I'm trying to save up a couple of thousand pounds at the moment.

So maybe I'll end up feeling bad for having to say no to people, and I don't like the sound of that either.

Mostly though, I just don't like the idea of getting older. It is really quite frightening.

Anyway, wow, something serious: there you go.
Yesterday, Robbie and I saw Horton Hears a Who and it's so funny! Like, I just really liked it, which is weird because I thought it'd probably be a bit gay so I wasn't too sure about it. I did want to see it though, so I'm glad we did!
On Friday night we hung out at Robbie's mum's house and cooked a "quorma". It wasn't bad, but it was quite a bit hotter than any korma I had ever had before, and really tasted nothing like one at all. It was edible though, and that's what matters. We are chefz.

Now I believe I shall go for a wee walk with the maw and the paw.
Oh, I never used any German. I suppose that is because I had something I actually thought of to write about! Wow. Dass ist... Etwas.

Tschüss. Wie immer. Haha.