contemplation

sometimes i wonder why i stop putting effort into things. obviously part of it is because i'm lazy, and i know that. it annoys me slightly but really laziness wouldn't hold me back any if i didn't let it.

but there are other times when i don't even need to wonder why i stop putting the effort in; it's so blatant from how i get treated and, haha, mis-treated that i just stop trying because it won't make a difference anyway.

my feelings are hurt and i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. we got a new computer and it is much faster than our last. it's quite pretty but this keyboard is flatter and thus more difficult to type on without making mistakes.

it's ewan's birthday today: happy birthday.

i think i've stopped putting effort in because of all the times before when i would put it in and i would really work hard and just feel completely deflated afterwards, because of the lack of response it got. sometimes it was all for nothing.

i feel a bit broken.

last night robbie and i went to the cinema and saw Charlie Bartlett. it's so good, very entertaining, and i enjoyed it a lot.

i'm fed up of coming on the internet just to find all the stored stuff and the history all deleted. i'm fed up of seeing naked people. perhaps the way to combat this would be for the people in this house to not look at fucking porn and thus they would not need to clear the history and i would not be annoyed. nor would i then occasionally find a girl with fake tits staring at me "seductively" from the computer screen.

i hate porn. i think it may actually be the most unsexy thing in the history of the world.

how. fucking. ironic.
you bunch of stupid arseholes.